Be Still, and know that I am God
Psalm 46:10
I always mistake activity for accomplishment.
How much am I missing from God because I'm always on the go?
Late one evening, the verse, “Be still and know that I am God”, was introduced to me rather abruptly.
I'm in a wheelchair and live on my own in a beautiful small home provided by the Lord (see my testimony). I have Muscular Dystrophy which affects the strength in my arms and legs. My guess is I have about 10% strength in both the arms and legs.
Like most people confined to a wheelchair, transferring from the chair to the bed is a difficult task. That particular night, it proved to be impossible.
At 1 am in the morning, I attempted the transfer alone (as always). After half-standing up, I held the bed with one hand and the wheelchair with the other. I felt my strength leaving me and I knew, very soon, I would have to throw myself to the ground. I feared my leg getting caught underneath me and breaking; I feared hitting my head on the nightstand or bed. I prayed loudly and fervently for God's protection.
After a few minutes of prayer, I threw myself to the floor, hitting my back hard on the dresser, but not injuring myself.
I thanked God for His protection as I laid on the floor.
It was pitched black in the room, I was sweating, exhausted and the room was very, very quiet.
After praising God in word and song for about an hour on the floor, I laid motionless and listened for God's direction.
Should I attempt to make it over to the phone and risk losing all my strength for 1, 2 even 3 days or just lay on the floor and wait until morning for my home healthcare worker?
The pain in my body was meaningless compared to the joy I had in praising God for His goodness.
I layed motionless, quiet and still before the Lord as I meditated on who He is, what He's done, the Scriptures, prayers and the hymns of old.
I listened for His direction.
After about two hours of being on the floor, I felt energized enough to try to get to the phone. Moving about 1 foot every half hour, I made it to the phone in another hour and a half.
My neighbors came over and lifted me in bed.
As I laid in bed, I contemplated the power of just being still before the Lord.
I was amazed, and somewhat saddened, by the fact that my regular quiet time has never been quite as powerful as the night I spent on the floor.
It reminds me of Job's response after God spoke to him from the storm:
“I am insignificant; what can I reply to you? I lay my hand on my mouth. Once I have spoken, and I will not answer; Even twice, and I will add nothing more.” Job 40:4-5
That night refreshed my picture of the power, grace, mercy and love that Jesus Christ has for me, despite being so insignificant.
It's unfathomable, that Jesus Christ would die a criminals death on a cross to conquer sin and death and allow an insignificant person like me an opportunity to have an eternal relationship with the creator of the heavens and earth.
I finally got to sleep, only to wake up 2 hours later for work.
Unlike the rest of the week, however, I left home that morning with a renewed knowledge of my need and tearful thankfulness for:
God's grace, mercy and love.
“When God gets us alone through suffering, heartbreak, temptation, disappointment, or sickness - when He gets us absolutely alone, and we are totally speechless, unable to ask even one question, then He begins to teach us.” Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest
“It is not true to say that God wants to teach us something in our trials. Through every cloud (sorrows and suffering) he brings our way, He wants us to unlearn something. His purpose in using the cloud is to simplify our beliefs until our relationship with Him is exactly like that of a child - a relationship between God and our own souls and where people are but shadows. Is our relationship to God becoming more simple than it ever has been?” Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest
“Our response to suffering is an accurate barometer of our soul.” Steven J. Lawson
“Whatever brings you to your knees in weakness carries the greatest potential for your personal success and spiritual victory.” Charles Stanley
“You will not find one Godly man who came out of an affliction worse than when he went into it. Though for a little while he was shaken, yet, at last, he was better for an affliction. But, a great many Godly men have been worse for their prosperity.” Jeremiah Burroughs
“The greatest good suffering can do for me is to increase my capacity for God.” Joni Eareckson Tada
“God cannot use mightily the man whom he has not wounded deeply.” AW Tozer
